Geoffrey’s story

Geoffrey was a volunteer life coach on a Grit programme with West London schools.

I’ve volunteered with Grit a number of times over the years. It’s a fantastic course, a unique experience. I feel I’m really making a difference. This time I coached two lads, every fortnight, from February to June.

The first lad was very bright but he was losing his way. He was always in detention. He was always in trouble with teachers, disruptive in class, talking back. He was complained how he was ‘picked on by the teachers,’ how they were always on at him, even when it wasn’t his fault.

And he was stuck. His standing in the class, the kudos he got from being in trouble, meant he felt he always had to argue when he was being told what to do. He could see how this was continually getting him into trouble but he couldn’t see a way to change his behaviour.

He told me how his parents were constantly on his case. They had high expectations but wouldn’t listen to him, wouldn’t try and understand how he saw the world. He wanted to please them, to prove himself to them, but somehow it never worked out.

It took a few sessions for him to open up. All he really needed was someone to talk to, someone to listen to him and not judge him. He just needed a bit of steer, someone on his side, someone alongside him to think about other possibilities, about alternative strategies.

In the coaching sessions we talked about what happened when he got into trouble, about what he thought he could have done better, how we could have responded differently to a situation. We talked about how, instead of challenging teachers, instead of arguing that “it wasn’t me”, that he accept what had happened and think about what else he could do.  I saw his self-belief and confidence start to grow and we had  big breakthrough when he saw that he could ask to be moved to a different seat in class, could remove himself from the place where he was getting into trouble.

Last time I saw him he told me how things are still improving, how his behaviour is changing, how he’s getting better grades.

The second lad was the polar opposite!  He is very quiet, very softly spoken. He struggles to speak up and speak out and there were times when I could hardly hear him. He was struggling at school, forever tired.

I’ve had to lead him in the conversations but he really engages. He always does what he said he says he was going to do between sessions: doing his homework early in the evening instead of leaving it until bed time, turning off the TV in his bedroom so he has the chance to wind down before bed, going to bed earlier. He turns up for every session, still engaging, seeing something in Grit for himself. We’re making progress.

I’ve been so impressed with the young people I’ve met. They give me great hope for the future. I have to travel an hour each way to do the coaching but it is worth every minute. It is thrilling. It is a privilege.