Janmatthew’s story

Janmatthew was in his third year at the University of Nottingham when he did a Black Leaders programme.

I never imagined that within the first ten minutes of the workshop I’d be in a deep level of sharing with people I’d only just met. The ice breaker cut straight through. We were asked to talk about a time when we held ourselves back from speaking. I’m a pretty outgoing person but there I was, shaking in my boots. I couldn’t believe it!

I talked about how Black spaces are not always the most comfortable for Queer people, and Queer spaces not always comfortable for Black people… and then suddenly there must have been ten or fifteen other LGBT students speaking up too.

Grit created a space for genuinely amazing conversations to happen, important conversations that don’t happen on other courses or events, that don’t happen in everyday life and certainly don’t happen on social media. It’s easy to hold back what I’m really thinking, to code switch to disguise the real me, but in the workshop I could open up and be who I really am.

These were eye-opening conversations. We talked about the experiences we have as students, of the racism, of being seen differently, about our home lives. I hadn’t fully realised that my experiences are so universal. They are experiences all Black people have gone through - not just me! It was freeing, liberating, and self-affirming.

I made new friendships and connected on a deep level much more quickly than I have with other friends. I feel like I belong in a different way, a new level of belonging. I’ve joined student societies, one of the people in the workshop has started a Black Book Club, others are starting new student societies. Grit planted a seed for us to do a lot of positive things.

I’m interacting with people now in a different way, more effectively. Sometimes I’d avoid the difficult conversations. Sometimes I overthink - see conflict where maybe there isn’t any. So I’m speaking more directly, communicating more directly, more honestly. I’m better at dealing with challenging situations.

And I have to mention the catering. In most programmes and workshops you just get generic catering. But here we had a local Afro-Caribbean caterer. This was SO good, and not only because of the food. It showed that the workshop is bespoke, that there is someone who understands behind it, someone who really cares, who has really thought about it.

Grit is a space where you can truly and fully connect with other Black students and discover things about yourself you weren’t aware of. Now I actively think of my latent power, the power in me. I think about my potential. It’s changed my outlook, my motivations. I’m pursuing goals, hobbies, the things I care about, much more actively. I’m more focused on what I want from life and how to get it.